Leaving me
by Ashes of Stars
Summary: On returning from leaving Harry to go to America, Draco hopes that maybe he will get over the fact he isnt in his life anymore. Will he? HPXDM


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the story written by JK Rowling and I would appreciate it if you all took the time too see that I wrote this story and so plot is mine.**

**Written to a mix of a indescribable heart wrench at a friends pain, whom I love very much. Dedicated to you Eli, for all of us go through the worst of times but not all of us recover as you have, love you my darling. Also, I thank Tracy Chapman for the wonderful song fast car.**

After university I believed that Harry and I would move in together and live happily ever after and more that believing that we would, I hoped it would happen, I wanted it too.

But today I am sitting here in my sun-heated car, on the side of the road with tears streaming down my face and no sounds coming from me, except the occasional rustle of my hair as I run my hands through it.

FB-

Draco awoke, reaching over to the clock on the side of his bed to turn off an alarm that wasn't going off at all and almost falling out of bed with a sudden rush of emotions that surged through his body like electricity through wires. He had overslept, and in the process reduced the time left with Harry from five hours too three.

Sitting up startled, he looked around the room they shared and noticed for the first time how empty it looked without Harry's strewn clothes and hundreds of photos of all his friends. All that was left now was empty spaces in which Harry's possessions once stood.

Getting up slowly, he raised his arms in the air and loosened his muscles that were tight from sleep, and with an empty feeling that threatened Draco with an emotional breakdown, in his stomach, he walked into the main open plan living area to great his boyfriend.

However sounds from the shower directed Harry to that direction and as he entered he imagined himself lovingly touching Harry, kissing him, telling him not too leave, but his fury at Harry's soon departure for America meant he startled the brunette with a slammed bathroom door.

"Why the fuck didn't you wake me up!" Draco shouted at Harry who had peeked his head around the shower door and with sad eyes he looked down knowing his answer would be the wrong one.

"I didn't want to wake you…" Harry shrugged and closed the shower door, rinsing himself off. Draco watched, feeling a tug below his stomach and a feeling as if he hadn't eaten for days swarm his body.

He left the bathroom to go get ready and dressed, however the more movements he seemed to make, the more it hurt and he hurriedly pulled on the rest of his clothes, before deciding on eating something to numb the pain in his chest.

Picking up a pain au chocolate, he lifted it to eye level and inspected it, before taking a tiny bite. The swallowing became hard, how could he even think about food when Harry was to leave so soon? He could do it, and for his previous actions he had made himself feel even worse.

"Draco…" Came a raised voice from within the bathroom… "Did you know the clocks were put forward last night?" Draco froze as two hours instantly became one, and he held back the tears, leaving a burning in his throat as if he had swallowed razorblades.

"No…"

Harry didn't answer, and Draco could see Harry out of the corner of his eye, leave the bathroom and walk into the bedroom.

Draco had sat there, staring at the doorway for ten minutes before he decided to get up and see what Harry was doing, and slowly he walked to the bedroom door that was open, revealing a dressing Harry with his back to Draco.

"Wont you come with me?" He whispered, knowing that his lover was behind him.

"Will you not stay?" Draco asked just as softly, and moving quickly towards Harry, he wrapped his arms around the boys waist and kissed his neck. Harry soon melted into the touch, and both men had soon forgotten the lonely feeling inside of them both.

XXXX

Quick cleaning charms were uttered as both boys realised they were to be late for the Port-key if they did not leave soon.

"Shit…" Harry muttered, as he picked up one of his many bags and left the flat and walked towards Draco's car.

And when Draco met him outside, he questioned as too why he asked shit.

"I just remembered that this will be the last time I see this place for over a year." Harry slid into the car, peering up the house he had Draco had shared within the rich part of south London for nearly a year and a half.

Draco mearly nodded, turning the keys in the ignition and revving up his car to speed them towards Heathrow port-key terminal.

And they sat in silence for about fifteen minutes before Harry asked once again, "Will you not come with me Draco?" He pushed the blonde's last name, "Please."

"Harry, the last thing I want to do right now is move to America and start seeking out dark organisations within the wizarding world!" Draco was snapping at Harry, who in return glared to the man driving, "All I want to do right now is go back home, pull you onto the sofa with me, and then tomorrow I want to go get married, and I would be doing that if you hadn't got your heart set on going!"

"We could still do that in America, Draco…" Harry pleaded and his heart tugged, pulling him into sadness that he knew would last for weeks.

"No, Harry, we couldn't. I, unlike you, have a heart and _I_ want to stay here and look after my mentally ill friends, to help them try to live the best they can." Draco sighed at the memory of his godfather Severus, who after years of potions testing and curses over battlefields, has lost the coherent part of his brain and he now was a vegetable. But Draco liked to think he could remember his life before this brain dead state, and he wanted Severus to have company he may remember.

"Draco…" Harry muttered in an overly calm tone, "Please…"

"No!" Draco shouted cutting the man who broke his heart off, "Why don't you stay huh? Why don't you stay with me! For fucks sake your always trying to be the god-damn hero arnt you?" Draco sighed and once again the feeling of desperation and sadness filled him.

"Yes!" Harry spat loudly, causing Draco to swerve to the side of the road and before Harry knew it, Draco was out of the car kicking the wheels in frustration.

"Bloody goody two shoes Gryffindor who…HAS…to save everyone…" Draco slammed his fist down on the roof before opening the boot of the car and pulling out each and every object of Harry's he could find.

Harry got out too, pushing the door forward at full speed, watching it bounce back just as he managed to get out, "What are you doing!" He yelled.

"I don't ever want to see you again Potter!" Draco shouted just as loud as Harry who glared in protest back at the blonde, "Please…you can aparrate from here!" Draco motioned for Harry to move forwards and collect his luggage.

"Dray-"

"Don't fucking do that Harry, just leave and go save the world from all the evil… and deny that the only evil you need to defeat is this constant pushing everybody away!" Draco shook his head before he walked towards his side of the car, "Well I loved you Harry and you broke my heart…" And Draco slammed the door, leaving Harry enough time to shrink and lighten his luggage enough to be placed in his pocket without Muggle prying eyes, before the furious blonde remmed the engine and sped off, only looking back once towards the boy he once called his.

efb-

I am now driving, after sitting in the lay by for over three hours and my hands are leading my way. I don't really care where I go, for I don't want to go home just yet to a house in which I will still be able to smell him and even think he might come home at any moment.

And I don't want to sleep in the bed we shared for I know I will wake up without limbs tangled up in each other and neither shall I wake up to his green eyes that I loved most about his physical experience.

I look ahead to a sign post and I do not take note of the direction I am travelling in, for if I do, I might just see a place Harry and I visited and that would be too much. I need to be somewhere neither of us have gone before together.

Night is starting to consume the once day filled sky and I relish in knowing that he is a million miles away from me now, it means a lot to me as I drive my car far into the horizon, we shall both be a million miles from home once I get to my unset destination.

But my subconscious obviously has other plans, and I soon realise I have driven myself all the way home and I am now sitting outside so reluctant retreat to my home.

There are no lights on, no random fan-girls appearing at the doorstep or any body stopping to see if I am alright. Looking up the front steps that lead into the building we live in…_I_ live in I cry once more thinking of the day we bought the flat and the first time we came home drunk, and the first time I ran down the steps into his arms after he had only spent a night away from me.

And I question whether my life would be any different if I hadn't let him go, or he hadn't gone willingly and I know way too well that I was making excuses not to go to America, I guess I wanted him too prove his love to me.

Its all a little too much for me, I don't think I can enter my house and face the reality that Harry and I were never meant to be, for he wouldn't have gone and I would have followed him not matter what.

And maybe in time I will see that we weren't meant for each other, and maybe one day this ache inside shall go away and hopefully I will get over the boy-who-lived-to steal my heart.

No, I don't think I will, but as just as I did for Harry's and my future together, I can only hope.


End file.
